Keisha, age 47, is a Senior Technical Project Manager. She is single and has an 8 year old daughter. She lives in New Jersey.
What is your first or strongest hair memory?
I was about 8 years old and I noticed that my hair was different from my friends’ hair. It was not as long and thick as theirs. It didn’t move like theirs. This was the age that I started comparing myself to others. It was the beginning of me feeling that I wasn’t pretty because of my hair and my skin tone.
What is your favorite or best hair memory?
I was a freshman in high school and Salt-N-Pepa was my everything. I had a Leisure Curl and my hair was cut in an asymmetrical bob with shaved sides and I had bamboo earrings.
What did you learn and believe about your hair from your mother?
My mother wasn’t very good at doing my hair. Do you remember those big red rubber bands that held the collard greens? Well, she saved those collard green rubber bands and used them in my hair! She pressed my hair with the hot comb and put it in a big puff ponytail. My sister is ten years older and she and our neighbor braided it and put it in ponytails. They helped me feel more comfortable with myself and kept me looking girly.
What did you learn or believe about your hair from family and friends?
There was no negative talk about hair. I never heard any derogatory words. They made sure my hair was clean and done. In my family, we all had different hair textures, but no one talked about it. We all received praise and were told that we were beautiful.
What did you learn or believe about your hair from society and media?
I believed that hair had to be straight. In order to be pretty, you had to have long, straight hair.
What were your favorite hairstyles in your elementary and high school years?
In the lower grades, my sister did my hair. When I was 10 or 11, she taught me to do my own hair. I wore it parted in the middle with two cornrows on each side with a bang that I curled with sponge rollers. That’s all I could do! In high school, I had a leisure curl, until senior year when I got a perm.
Were you ever teased or ridiculed about your hair?
I was teased more for my whole appearance rather than just my hair. I was skinny with a big, round head and little ponytails that stuck out. My sister’s boyfriend said I looked like a “little, black roach”. He’s a jokester, he’s still in the family, we have a good relationship. That stuck with me at the time, but now when I look at those pictures, I know I was really cute!
Were you ever made to feel ashamed or wrong about your hair?
Not as a little girl, but as an adult working in corporate America. I remember in 1999, I was newly hired in a management development program. I was natural then and wore my hair in a short afro. One of the managers, a well-liked Indian-Guyanese male, brought me into his cubicle and told me that I needed to comb my hair! This was more than 20 years ago, I was young and I didn’t know how to respond. If this happened today I would go to Human Resources! But, I didn’t tell anyone about it, not even my boss, who was an African-American woman with natural hair. I felt that the message was that as a Black woman I had to suppress who I was in order to conform. But, even though he said that to me, I didn’t change my hair. I remained true to who I am and continued to wear my natural hair. (See Crown Act.)
Oprah tells a story about losing her hair after a bad perm. Do you have any hair tragedies?
I’m adventurous with color and I color my own hair. I remember coloring my hair and it was all colored except for the middle. There have been times when it didn’t come out the way I wanted, I’m surprised my hair hasn’t fallen out.
What were your favorite hairstyles in your 20s and 30s?
I went natural in 1996 when I was 23. I went to my hairstylist, who was also my childhood friend. At the time, my permed hair was long and straight. I sat in his chair and said, “cut it all off”. He said, “word” and that’s what he did. I did the big chop before it was a thing. I remember I loved it. I felt liberated. In my late 20s, I wore locks and a short natural.
Looking back, what is your funniest hair experience? It may not have been funny then, but it’s funny now.
My friends and I attended the Black Film Festival in Miami every year. Back in the early 2000s, I colored my hair before the trip. I didn’t consider the effects of the sun on my hair. It bleached my hair into a bright orange and my edges were almost white! My girlfriend looked at me and said, “girl, I don’t know what to tell you”. I just remember trying to style it so you couldn’t see my edges.
What transitions have you been through?
Natural, press-n-curl, leisure curl, permed hair through college, then natural. I’ve gone from long to short with perms about two to three times and wore the Halle Berry cut. I went natural in 1996, and I still go short to long.
Have you made any drastic decisions about your hair? If so, were they tied to anything happening in your life at that time?
When I cut off all my hair in 1996, I was in an emotional, toxic relationship and I think I was trying to find myself. I wasn’t stable or grounded. After cutting it, I had every single color there is. In the late 90s I was in a lot of hair and fashion shows. I worked part-time in my friend’s shop and I was his color test-dummy. He would say, “let’s try platinum blonde or purple” and it was okay with me.
Have you ever allowed your hair to stop you from doing something you wanted to do?
Never
What do you believe about your hair now?
I still love that I made the choice to go natural 24 years ago. I will never go back to having permed hair, I’ve always been very comfortable being natural and I make sure my daughter is the same way.
What is your favorite way to wear your hair now?
I have single coils and I like that I always have a style. I wash and condition then coil each section with my fingers using gel. I’m thinking about going back to locks.
Do you currently have a stylist that you love?
No. Right now I do my own hair, I’m my stylist.
What products does your hair love now?
I use Texture ID products, the Curl Clarifying Shampoo and Conditioner, 3x Moisture Cream Conditioner, and Deep Treatment Masque. I get Texture ID products from Sally’s and I like Sally’s because if you don’t like the product you can return it even if you’ve used it. I use the masque with a plastic cap or a steam cap. I also use coconut oil as a conditioner. I use As I Am Classic Leave-in Conditioner and So Much Moisture Hydrating Lotion. For styling single coils or wash and go, I use Mane Choice 24 Karat Glistening Gold Twisting Gel. For a refresh between shampoos, I use As I Am Jamaican Black Castor Oil. I also use the Q-Redew Hair Steamer to lock in moisture and to stretch and detangle. It’s pricey but it’s worth it. When people ask me about my products, I always say, “what works for me may not work for you”.
If you could go back in time and talk to your younger self, what would you tell her about her hair?
Your hair is beautiful, simple as that, because that’s powerful within itself.
Have you made peace with your hair?
Oh yes, some time ago. I’m very comfortable with my hair, I love it, I take care of it. I have no regrets.
Any final thoughts?
I’m still in corporate America and I remember a time when I felt as if I had to take the Black girl off before I walked into the building. I felt that I had to be careful about everything that I said. I stopped that years ago. Because I work in IT, I’m often the only Black person in the room. As a result, I welcome questions about my hair. Now, I’m authentic, I gotta be me!
Thank you, Keisha, for sharing your HAIRstory!
