Wincey

Wincey, age 55, is a Singer and Teaching Artist. She is married and has three sons, ages 38, 35 and 31. She lives in New Jersey. 

What is your first or strongest hair memory?

I was in the 4^th grade and it was picture day. I insisted on wearing my hair in an afro like my favorite teacher, Miss Hopkins. My mother told me that my hair would not hold an afro. But I insisted and she attempted an afro. Well, my hair blew all over the place and when it was time for my class to take pictures it was a mess! Miss Hopkins called my mother to ask her if she wanted to come to school to fix my hair. My mother told my teacher that she told me that I couldn’t wear an afro and that she was not coming to the school to fix my hair. She asked my teacher to just put it in a bun. It was a mess! I can’t believe she bought those pictures, but I think she was trying to teach me a lesson. That was just the beginning of me not listening to my mother. 

What is your favorite or best hair memory?

Wearing my locs, I don’t call them dreads because there was nothing dreadful about them. I did so many things with them. I felt good when I rocked my locs. 

What did you learn and believe about your hair from your mother?

I learned that you don’t spend a lot of time on hair and make-up and things that make you glamourous. Glamour is for special events not every day. You only need to be clean and presentable. When she did my hair, she made me feel that it was a chore for her, and she didn’t really have time for it. I remember thinking that I should hurry up and learn to do my own hair. Even as a child, I had a lot of bad hair days.

What did you learn or believe about your hair from family and friends?

That my hair was interesting and versatile.  I could do anything with it.

What did you learn or believe about your hair from society and media?

I learned that hair should be straight.

What were your favorite hairstyles in your elementary and high school years?

In elementary school, I loved the unicorn braid. One braid sticking straight up from the top of my head. In fact, Janet Jackson wore it in 2018 to Black Girls Rock! In high school, I never thought my hair looked nice. Every day was a bad hair day for me. I did my own perms. I had a lot of new growth, so there was always an afro at the roots and the ends were straight. I hadn’t found myself yet. 

Were you ever teased or ridiculed about your hair?

Yes, as I said before I loved wearing the unicorn braid. From kindergarten through fourth grade, I attended a predominantly Black public school. My unicorn braid was well-received, and I got a lot of compliments. In fifth grade, I transferred to a predominantly white Catholic school. The school bully started shooting at my unicorn braid with his finger, and because he was the bully a lot of other kids joined in. It was humiliating and I never wore that style again.  

Were you ever made to feel ashamed or wrong about your hair?

Yes! Back in 2010, I sang at high end private parties and celebrity events at country clubs. I was doing a gig for a celebrity that I won’t name. Someone from the office that booked the events called me and said, “we don’t want any of that hair hanging down or anything like that”. (See “Crown Act“). I asked them what they meant, and they said, “if any of you have any of those things in your hair”. They meant locs but they didn’t know what to call them.  So, I put my locs up, but I certainly couldn’t make them go away, nor did I want to! They wanted us to play Stepin’ Fetchit. The expectation was that we would “sing Black” and have “Black rhythm”, but don’t look “too Black” and definitely don’t mingle with the guests. 

Oprah tells a story about losing her hair after a bad perm. Do you have any hair tragedies?

Yes. When I was in high school, I bought a Jheri curl kit and put it in myself. It didn’t take and my hair was going in every direction. It wasn’t straight or curly. So, I immediately washed it out and put a relaxer on top of it. My hair was fine, but I had sores all over my scalp. My hair is incredible, it holds to my head no matter what I do to it.

What were your favorite hairstyles in your 20s and 30s?

In my 20s I had a relaxer and I loved the short Toni Braxton. In my 30s, I wore it relaxed, until I cut it all off and put in a texturizer. Then I went natural and started locking it. 

Looking back, what is your funniest hair experience? It may not have been funny then, but it’s funny now.

I had a gig where they wanted us to be the Supremes. We wore glamourous, sequined red gowns and wigs. Well I had locs, so that wig sat up so high on my head that I looked like a conehead. I smashed it down as much as I could, but that wig moved around on every note I sang.

More recently, my stylist colored my hair a bright red.  I was okay with her experimenting with different colors. I remember stepping into an elevator with a lady and her little girl. The little girl said, “mommy, her hair is like a red crayon!” I had to stop using the vibrant colors because they didn’t take to my hair very well. Once I started having hot flashes, I could feel the dye running down my face along with the sweat. 

What transitions have you been through?

Natural, press n curl, perm, Jheri curl for a minute, back to perm, short with texturizer, locs, and now short natural 

Have you made any drastic decisions about your hair? If so, were they tied to anything happening in your life at that time?

When I turned 50, I cut my long locs. It was a milestone birthday. I released a CD and I wanted to let go of the past. Hair holds memories and I wanted to start fresh.

Have you ever allowed your hair to stop you from doing something you wanted to do?

Swim, or just get in water, get a good night’s rest; going places, if my hair was a mess I wouldn’t go.

What do you believe about your hair now?

My hair has been good to me, we have been through everything together. It’s like a die-hard girlfriend. My hair has let me put it through all kinds of stuff and it always hangs in there with me.

What is your favorite way to wear your hair now? What is your hair care routine?

Short natural, faded on the sides. I get my hair done about once a month and honestly, I don’t do much to it in between. I’ve never been one to go to the salon regularly and I’m not really into doing my own hair.

Do you currently have a stylist that you love?

Suzanna Dunn (@dunnsuzanna)

What products does your hair love now?

I’m not loyal to any brands or products. I’m always trying new stuff on my hair. I’m not scared to try new products, if I don’t like it, I won’t use it again.

If you could go back in time and talk to your younger self, what would you tell her about her hair?

It’s not that deep and it will all work out in the end. Your hair will always be there for you.

Have you made peace with your hair?

Yes

Any final thoughts?

I think that we should love our hair. Be courageous and adventurous with it. Find the styles that make you feel good and if you want, change them often to express your creativity. You may not be an artist, but you can express your creativity and the level of artistry that you do have. Use your hair to tap into your own creativity. 

Thank you, Wincey, for sharing your HAIRstory!