Jo-Ann, age 50, is a Manager of Ops Audit. She is married and has two sons, ages 23 and 14. She lives in New Jersey.
What is your 1st or strongest hair memory?
In high school, I had very thick hair. It looked like a hair hat. People thought it was a wig.
What is your favorite or best hair memory?
In my 20s, when I let my own hair grow. It was long, thick and full. I loved it.
What did you learn and believe about your hair from your mother?
I learned that my thick hair was inherited from her side of the family. When I started putting chemicals in it, she told me to be careful and that I should take care of my hair. But I didn’t listen.
What did you learn or believe about your hair from family and friends?
They always talked about how thick it was. My aunt would ask me, “is that your hair?”
What did you learn or believe about your hair from society and media?
You had to have long hair. People preferred length.
What were your favorite hair styles in your elementary and high school years?
In elementary school, my mother straightened it with the hot comb. I wore two cornrows down the side, parted in the middle. Sometimes, I braided it on one side and left the other side out in a curly afro. Although my hair was thick, it wasn’t long. In high school, I wore press-n-curls, so I kept it short in a Halle Berry style. Or, I wore the bent-under-mushroom. I didn’t get my first perm until I was a senior in high school, before taking my graduation pictures.
What were your favorite hairstyles in your 20s and 30s?
In my late teens through my 20s and into my 30s, I colored it and permed it. I colored it auburn and wore blonde streaks. I went to the doobie shop every one to two weeks, depending on what was going on. It grew long. I loved my doobies. After I had my son, I started wearing weaves then moved to wigs.
Were you ever teased or ridiculed about your hair?
My hair was thick, but short, and I couldn’t get ponytails. I remember in first grade, my older sister sent me to school with an afro. All the other girls had ponytails or cornrows. I was so embarrassed that I hid in the closet and I didn’t want to come out. The boys teased me, but I was embarrassed before they even said anything. All I remember is going to school and heading straight to the closet.
Were you ever made to feel ashamed or wrong about your hair?
I remember being in a relationship and if he didn’t like my hair, he would critique it.
Oprah tells a story about losing her hair after a bad perm. Do you have any hair tragedies?
When I was pregnant with my youngest son, I was so sick that my hair started shedding. My stylist attached a ponytail that I wore for the whole nine months. After the pregnancy, my hair started thinning in the crown area, then I had surgery. My hair was thin and short, you could see my scalp! I remember going to the salon and thinking “what have I done?”. I think it was a combination of the pregnancy, surgery, poor nutrition and not taking care of it. My hair was done. It was fried. It was hard for me, because my hair was my glory. That’s when I started wearing weaves. I’m still dealing with this hair tragedy now because my hair is still very thin and almost bald in the crown area. Although balding in the crown runs on my mother’s side of the family, I didn’t help it by not taking care of my hair for so long. I’m treating it now to help stimulate the hair follicles.
What transitions have you been through?
Natural, press-n-curl, perms, color, short cuts, doobies, weaves, wigs and now back to natural
Have you made any drastic decisions about your hair? If so, were they tied to anything happening in your life at that time?
I made a drastic decision recently to wear it short and natural. I hadn’t worn short hair in many years. I was concerned about how it would look and if it would fit my face. I made the decision because of the pandemic. I couldn’t get out to get my hair done. I had a wig custom made for me and when I went to pick it up, the stylist looked at my natural hair and said I needed to start over. She just cut the braids out and started working on it. I turned 50 this year and decided that it was a good time to make a change. I wanted it to be healthy and I knew that I had not been taking care of my hair for many years. Those weaves and wigs made me lazy. Before Covid, I was commuting to New York every day and I could easily leave the braids in for one to two months. I was exhausted. Right now, I’m suffering the consequences of not taking care of my hair for so long. But honestly, if it wasn’t for Covid, and I was still dealing with the hustle and bustle of the daily commute, I would probably still be wearing wigs because of convenience and not wanting to be cold. Covid kind of forced me to go natural.
Have you ever allowed your hair to stop you from doing something you wanted to do?
No, not at all
What do you believe about your hair now?
I love my short hair. I believe that it’s getting healthier because I’m spending time with it. I’m putting effort into the thinning areas. I get many compliments about my hair.
What is your favorite way to wear your hair now?
In a short natural. My hair is not naturally curly, so I wash, dry and put products on it.
Do you currently have a stylist that you love?
Tanya Shannon of Shannon Hair Studio in Orange. IWeave
What products does your hair love now and what is your hair care routine?
I like Shea Moisture because my hair is dry. I use the Daily Hydration Shampoo and Conditioner, Curl Enhancing Smoothie and Red Palm Oil & Cocoa Butter Styling Gelee. I use Biotin drops and Wild Growth Hair Oil in my thinning spots. I also like Jamaican Black Castor Oil. I use Toppik Hair Fibers for my thinning spots. Since my hair is not naturally curly, I wash my hair at night then put the smoothie and the gelee on when it’s dry. I use the Magic Twist Hair Sponge to work the product into my dry hair. This encourages the curl.
If you could go back in time and talk to your younger self, what would you tell her about her hair?
Take care of your hair. Listen to your mother. Chemicals like color and relaxers strip your hair. My mother warned me to be careful about putting all that stuff in my hair. But at the time I thought I needed all that stuff to look good.
Have you made peace with your hair?
I have made peace with my hair. Although I haven’t made peace with my thinning spots. I’ve made peace with not wearing weaves and wigs. Now, if I wear a wig it’s because I want to, not because I think I need it to be attractive.
Any final thoughts?
Love the way God made you to be. Society and the beauty industry teach us that we need long, straight hair and makeup. There’s nothing wrong with adding a little flavor, but make sure it’s not a mask to hide behind. Covid forced me into a place of loving me just the way I am. I don’t need a wig or a weave. I may add a little color for some extra flavor, but I’m good the way God made me, just the way I am.
Thank you, Jo-Ann, for sharing your HAIRstory!
